This is the second day we’ve been back in the US since our Haiti experience – my first Haiti experience. My heart aches. I don’t know how to put everything I’ve experienced into words or thoughts or even complete sentences.
“How was the trip?!” Well, do you want to know how beautiful the tropical land is? Do you want to know how wonderful the Haiti Outreach Ministries schools are? Do you want to know how mad I am that trash takes over the entire country – covering the roads, grassy areas, and houses? Do you want to know how brave Haitian people are? Do you want to know how infrequent children at the special needs orphanage were changes and how many flies/gnats covered them at all times? Do you want the picture of the mosquito nets that cover the girls’ beds in House of Hope?
I’m feeling too much. I am grumpy towards Americans and their ignorance for the beauty of their clean roads and gas station, for their ignorance to mosquito bites and not being concerned with cholera or typhoid. I am angry at people for making complaints about homework and not sleeping enough and being able to be guaranteed some job after their educations.
However, the trip did serve as a point of clarification for my call. While I am not called to overseas missions, I am called to forming relationships. I am called to providing community when there is none, to “end up with it anyway” (Jen Hatmaker). I am incredibly passionate about women’s ministry: creating places for women to be themselves. To be in each other’s lives. It’s time that we move from 5-10 minute devotions, doing mission work in our separate lives, and gossiping about others during prayer time.
Instead, it is time to move towards real life, real study of the Bible. Tackling hard questions and subjects. Talking about shame and joy and sadness. It’s time to do mission work together, not just putting filling shoeboxes individually. It’s time to eat dinner together, make new friends, and stop closing circles.
I don’t know how all of this was on my mind in Haiti, but it was. Then, precious Dee confirmed it in our “decompression talk” Tuesday morning after we got back. Women of all ages need their cups filled and refilled to be able to pour it out for others.
After all, “Bondye konn bay, men li pa konn separe.” (God gives but doesn’t share.) It’s each one of our jobs to share in the gifts and messages, life and love, and more that God gives us.